It’s 3 am, and you’re awake with your sweet baby for the 4th time. You’re desperately googling “how to get my baby to sleep” and overwhelmed with all the information out there. It can feel so overwhelming, but getting better sleep is attainable, and so important for everyone involved!
Exhausted parents can be more prone to Post Partum Depression or Anxiety, and tempers are short, nerves are shot, making it hard to be fully connected to and present with your child. This is where sleep training comes in- giving your child the skills to fall asleep independently so everyone is happier and healthier!
While sleep training is just one piece of the whole sleep puzzle, it’s a very large piece! Things like routine, timing, and environment can all impact sleep as well. Taking all these factors into account, along with the right sleep training method for your child, will help you all get a good night’s sleep.
There are so many methods to choose from, so it’s important to know how to choose the right method for you and your baby.
How to Choose Sleep Training Method
There are a few things to keep in mind when choosing your sleep training method to help things go as smoothly as possible.
Consistency: choose a method you know you can be consistent with! If there is no consistency in your approach when you begin sleep training, progress will be much slower, if there is any progress at all!
Your baby’s temperament: A child that easily goes with the flow, is independent, happy and content, MAY have an easier time with the process and might do well with a less hands on approach. A stubborn and strong-willed child, anxious with lots of separation anxiety might do much better with a more gradual, hands on approach to sleep training!
Your temperament: This goes back to consistency. Know what you can be consistent with. If you’re at the end of your rope, physically and mentally exhausted, you might not be able to be consistent with a very gradual, involved, hands on approach- in this case, a quicker, more hands-off approach might be better for everyone!
What sleep training methods are successful?
It’s not one size fits all! We’re going to take a brief look at some of the most common sleep training methods to help you figure out which method may work best for you and your child! We will start the list with the most involved, gradual methods and end with the quickest!
Shush Pat
Best for very young babies who are still swaddled.
Very low-pressure approach to getting your baby comfortable with their sleep space.
Place swaddled baby in the crib or bassinet, roll them on their side away from you, and rhythmically pat their back or bum while shushing loudly in their ears. If baby gets really upset, pick them up while still patting and shushing. Lay them back on their side again once calm. Once baby falls asleep, roll them to their back while still shushing and holding a hand on their tummy. Once they are in a deep sleep, slowly and quietly walk out!
Pick up/Put Down
Best for very young babies up to 6 months old.
A very responsive method to encourage your baby to fall asleep in their crib.
Place baby in their crib. If they start to get really upset, pick them up and soothe them back to calm. Once calm, put them back in the crib, and repeat until they fall asleep IN their crib!
Chair method
Great for babies/children of any age!
A very gradual method, but just because it’s gradual doesn’t mean it’s a low cry method! The amount of crying is dependent on your child.
After your bedtime routine, place baby in the crib wide awake. Place a chair right next to their crib. You will be comforting your baby crib side for the first couple nights! Comfort them with your voice, hold their hand, rub their back, etc. It’s just important that they fall asleep IN the crib. Taking a couple nights at each step of the method, you will move your chair further from the crib each night until you are out of the room and baby is falling asleep independently without your presence!
Ferber
Best for babies at least 4-6 months old
This is a method you have likely heard of before! It’s quick and to the point, and may be best for parents that need to see quick results!
Place baby in their crib wide awake and walk out. Set a timer for 3 minutes, and if baby is still upset, go in to comfort and reassure, place baby back down awake, and walk out again. Set the timer for 5 minutes, and repeat until baby is asleep. The time between checks increases after every check, and can be adjusted or capped to fit the needs of you and your baby. This method gives baby space to figure out this new skill while also allowing you to comfort baby periodically.
Cry it out/Extinction
Best for babies at least 4-6 months old
Sleep training is often assumed to automatically mean crying it out. This is incorrect! Any method of changing and enforcing the boundaries around your child’s sleep can be called sleep training! Cry it out is just another one of these methods.
Very straight forward, might be difficult for anxious parents to be consistent with as no checks are involved.
With this method, you will place baby in the crib awake and walk back out to give baby time to learn this skill. Overtime the crying will decrease until baby can fall asleep quickly on their own!
There are so many more methods out there with such a wide range of involvement! This is where it’s important to know your baby and what YOU can be consistent with to see the best results! Choosing a method doesn't have to be overwhelming; in fact, it can sometimes be so overwhelming that it leads to inaction. Get individualized support via a certified sleep consultant today.
Hi, I’m Kyra, and I’m a certified pediatric sleep consultant here to help with your baby or toddler’s sleep struggles! I live in sunny Southern California with my husband and three boys. My boys love to move, so you can often find us hiking, or taking a day trip to the beach! Sleep has been my passion ever since my first son was born 8 years ago- I’ve been the exhausted parent, and I love helping other parents get the sleep they need! Fun Facts: I can’t stand coffee, love piano and photography! Find me at sweetpeasleep.com