Dropping your toddler’s last nap is by far the longest transition of alllll the nap transitions. I’m not talking a matter of weeks before things start to settle out, I’m talkin’ more like months! To drop the final nap AND minimize overtiredness as much as possible it’s best to take things very slowly, and to make sure that your toddler is actually ready to drop that nap. Let’s go through some checklist items to see if your kiddo is truly ready.
When to Drop the Last Nap
There is usually a period of time, around 2 years old, when your toddler may suddenly begin to refuse their nap. They fight going down tooth and nail, and/or they stay awake the entire time they should be sleeping. You might be thinking, “Is this it?! Are they really ready to lose that nap time?”
**Nay, nay, I say. Let’s not jump the gun. This nap refusal is likely more to do with new language developments and seeking out independence. There are many things that often coincide with this two year mark that could also be causing some sleep disruption, such as: gaining a new sibling, potty training, decreased sleep needs, moving to a toddler bed too soon, separation anxiety, and the list can go on! There are several phases of nap refusals or battles, but generally if you continue to offer the nap they will go back to napping as usual. The majority of toddlers aren’t ready to drop their last nap until 3-5 years of age. In fact, there is evidence which shows that toddlers through age 5 can still benefit from a midday nap. It is beneficial for cognition and retaining new information and skills. Even when you do think it’s time to drop the nap, it is going to be a very gradual process, where they will still need a nap every couple of days for their body to “catch up” or adjust. So what are the signs that your toddler IS ready to drop their nap?
Signs of Readiness to Drop the Final Nap
Your child is between the ages of 3-5 years old AND
When your child misses their daily nap they are…
Able to handle minor grievances calmly
Able to play independently as well as usual (not overly clingy)
Not overly silly, clumsy, whiney, grumpy, or defiant
If your child seems to be more hyper, whiney, easily upset, or generally more “loopy” than usual in the afternoon/evening after a skipped nap, these could all be signs that they are becoming overtired and not quite ready to drop that last nap. If you don’t notice these signs after one skipped nap day, or even after two, they could be ready to start the 1-0 nap transition.
Not Ready to Drop the Last Nap?
After seeing these signs of readiness you may be thinking, “Okay. It doesn’t really seem like my child is ready to drop their nap– BUT they take foreverrr to fall asleep at night and then they are up and down all night long!!”
If this is the case for your child, consider capping the nap. If they sleep for 2 hours each day and it’s interfering with overnight sleep, then cap the nap at 1.5 hours. You can also Shift the timing of the nap so that it happens earlier in the day and allows for more awake time before bed to help build that sleep pressure they need to carry them through the night. If they just take a long time to fall asleep at bedtime (20-40 min) but are generally happily chatting and rolling around in their bed and still sleeping through to their desired out of crib time, then I wouldn’t necessarily be going out of my way to “fix” things. Beyond capping the nap and playing with timing of the nap, a happy kid in their sleep space is not hurting anyone.
How to Drop the Last Nap for a Toddler
Playing the long game is your friend here, rushing to drop the last nap every day all at once will likely wind up in a cranky kid with more wakings/behavioral struggles throughout the day. SO if this isn’t a season of life when you have the ability to do a very early bedtime, then maybe it’s not the best time to deny them their nap. If you have a day that would benefit you and them to skip the nap, you can give it a try and see how they respond. Because they will be missing 1-3 hours of sleep from skipping the nap, bedtime will need to be VERY EARLY on these days to help them to adjust, and to avoid racking up too much sleep debt. If they usually go to bed at 8 pm on days when they nap for 2 hours, then bedtime can be as early as 6 pm on skipped nap days. I would start with just 1-2 days a week to begin, or whenever makes the most sense for your schedule but not going overboard right off the bat. Then, over time, gradually increase to skipping every other day, or every third day and so on. Remember this transition is meant to be fluid, and there is no time limit. You just have to follow their lead a bit. Giving them grace and accepting that things won’t be as perfectly scheduled as usual is important.
How to Introduce Quiet Time
On days that they don’t nap, it is still recommended to incorporate some kind of “quiet time” to help them intentionally rest their little bodies, and to regulate their nervous system. You can allow them a “quiet time box” with calming toys that they can play with safely and without your supervision. Keep this box put away for all other times of the day including bedtime so they won’t be tempted to play at night and to make it more enticing to them–since they only get those specific toys during quiet time! They may end up falling asleep during “quiet time” and thats okay! If so, bedtime will be a bit later than if they didn’t nap at all. For example, if they end up sleeping for one hour during quiet time, then bedtime would be one hour later than they were supposed to go to bed on a normal skipped nap day.
If they won’t willingly stay in their room without you, you may have to start with just 15-30 minutes of quiet time, possibly with you in the room also reading or doing a quiet task like folding laundry, and encourage them to play with some quiet toys or look at books in their bed. You can excuse yourself from the room by saying “oh I’ll be right back, I need to get XYZ”, and then gradually extend the amount of time you’re gone until they are comfortable staying in their room without you being in there as well. The goal is to have 45 min-2 hours of quiet time in the place of a nap.
This ultimately is going to look however you want it to look, if your child has different needs and doesn’t respond well to these formal quiet time suggestions, then just do whatever is best for your family! For my home, quiet time is watching a movie and eating a snack now that my son is 6 years old. He gets to rest and recharge, my daughter (who is 3.5 years old) is still napping for a couple of hours every day, and I get time to work or get chores done OR MAYBE EVEN NAP TOO! 😉I just wanted to throw this in there to say that quiet time may not look the same for every family, but the whole goal is just to have a midday reset.
Author:
Hello friend, my name is Lauren, and I’m part of the Heaven Sent Sleep team of pediatric sleep consultants. I am a former exhausted parent, but I learned everything I could about baby sleep and now apply that knowledge towards helping other families get better sleep! I live in Texas with my husband, and two kids. I enjoy being outdoors, the moon, and dancing to the point of injury with my friends! Find me over at Heaven Sent Sleep!