Ever find yourself just sinking into the couch after putting the kids to bed wondering what the heck just happened?
Those toddler sleep battles – they’re like a nightly showdown that can leave even the most gentle and patient parent feeling defeated, myself included. Thankfully for you, my experience as a sleep consultant and mom of two boys has equipped me with some tips and tricks to help you navigate this nightly adventure with your own toddler. Let’s dive in!
The Importance of Consistency and Routine + The Power of Choice to Mitigate Toddler Sleep Battles
Imagine this: You're a toddler and you've had a long day of exploring, making messes, and maybe a tantrum or two. You’ve been told ‘no’ in some variation at least 300 times today. You're tired, you're cranky, and you just want to stay up and play with that noisy toy your mom despises. But wait – what's that? Like a superhero in a messy bun, your mom swoops in with a consistent bedtime routine.
First, it's bath time. The warm water is soothing and the bubbles make you feel like you're in your own little magical world. Unbeknownst to you, the bath helps prepare you for sleep by causing a drop in your body temperature once you get out. Next, your parent gives you some choices. What? You’re getting a say in what happens here? This is crazy. They let you choose which toothbrush you want to use, and you even get to pick from two sets of pjs which ones you want to wear! Then you grab two books (your choice, again) and you snuggle up with your parent, listening intently as they read to you. Finally, it's time to drift off to sleep, feeling safe and secure in your familiar surroundings.
Establishing a consistent bedtime routine is like a secret weapon to mitigating toddler sleep battles. It not only helps signal to your toddler that it's bedtime but also creates a sense of security and predictability. Toddlers thrive on routine and structure, and a consistent bedtime routine can help them feel more in control and less resistant to bedtime. Consistency also helps regulate your toddler's internal clock, making it easier for them to fall asleep and wake up at the same time every day (yay! Now you get designated time for yourself!).
Further reading about consistency:
Setting Clear Expectations (And Maybe Lowering Them a Bit)
Toddlers are notorious for their negotiation skills, always pushing the boundaries, especially when it comes to bedtime. "Just one more story," they beg, or “one more kiss” while the batt those long lashes at you (which makes me wish I had eyelashes like my boys), it’s almost as if they've mastered the art of persuasion. So what do you do? Setting clear expectations is key to managing bedtime battles, but it's also important to be flexible (within reason).
While it's important to stick to the bedtime routine, sometimes it's okay to bend the rules a little. Maybe tonight, just for fun, you incorporate a little dance party to help release the extra wiggles, with the understanding that tomorrow, it's back to the regular routine. It's all about finding a balance between structure and flexibility, so you can maintain a sense of authority while also keeping bedtime enjoyable for both you and your toddler.
Want some routine cards and a strategy for tackling those bedtime battles? Download our free guide here!
The Power of Visualization (And Stickers)
Visual bedtime routine charts are a game-changer. Not only do they help toddlers understand the bedtime process, but they also make it fun. Add some stickers for each completed task, and you've got yourself a fun and interactive bedtime activity!
While a visual bedtime routine chart can make bedtime more enjoyable, it can also help toddlers understand the bedtime process. By seeing each step laid out in front of them, they know what to expect and can anticipate what comes next. This sense of predictability can help reduce bedtime battles and make the transition to sleep much smoother for everyone.
P.S. If the visual chart isn’t enough to encourage your child to follow their bedtime routine, you can incorporate rewards such as stickers, items from the dollar store or a special activity!
Mindfulness: Because Even Toddlers Need to Chill
Just like adults, toddlers can benefit from mindfulness techniques to help them relax before bed. Introducing simple practices that can help calm their minds and bodies can make it easier for them to settle down for sleep.
Some of my favorites are:
Meditation with the Zenimal
Practicing deep breathing
Doing a body scan: Sending their focus to different areas of their body
Asking them these questions: What made you smile today? What went well today? What made you laugh today?
This helps them to remember the positives of their day vs. the negatives!
These techniques can help shift your child’s focus from separation to connection!
The Screen-Time Struggle is Real
“My child won’t have screen time”. Did you say this before having kids? Yeah, me too. Did you follow through on that? Yeah, me either.
We’ve all relied ons screens to help us at some point with your toddlers. However, there is a time and place - and bedtime is not one of them. The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with melatonin production, making it harder for toddlers to fall asleep. So, instead of letting your toddler watch "just one more episode," try swapping screen time for a 1:1 activity.
Studies show that just 5-10 minutes of 1:1 time with a parent that is centered around the child can drastically help reduce battles. During this time, be careful not to ask questions or give your toddler directions. Simply just play, without any other distractions. Your toddler might protest at first, but deep down, they'll thank you (or at least not throw a tantrum).
In Conclusion: You've Got This!
Remember, every child is different, so be patient and find what works best for your family. You'll be conquering those bedtime battles like a pro in no time.
Author:
I’m Yasmin, a mom of 2 boys from the Metro Detroit area. I am the founder/owner of Mindful Sleep Consulting and have also worked as a flight attendant for the last 18 years! Throughout my sleep consulting journey I have gravitated toward taking a holistic approach with families, supporting the family as a whole when it comes to improving sleep. When I’m not working, I enjoy hiking with my boys, reading and traveling!
Website: www.mindfulsleepconsulting.com